Declaration, Dedication, Intent, Moxie, Perseverence, Purpose, Tenacity

Not being one for New Years resolutions I decided to make some commitments this year (read New Years resolutions). I looked up the word resolution on Thesaurus.com and found many interesting synonyms.
Here is the entry:

Resolution
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: determination, strong will
Synonyms: aim, boldness, constancy, courage, dauntlessness, decidedness, decision, declaration, dedication, doggedness, earnestness, energy, firmness, fixed purpose, fortitude, guts*, heart*, immovability, intent, intention, judgment, mettle, moxie*, obstinacy, perseverance, pluck, purpose, purposefulness, purposiveness, relentlessness, resoluteness, resolve, settlement, sincerity, spirit, spunk, staunchness, staying power, steadfastness, stubbornness, tenacity, verdict, willpower

Just read some of those words and roll them around in your head for a bit. I used my very favorites for the name of this post.


Part of the reason I wanted to blog about this is I would like to be kept accountable for my declaration. I know that bringing a new baby into the house could be used as a fairly legitimate excuse for not sticking with my commitments but I am going to persevere!
My intent this year is to finish all of the craft projects I have ever started and never finished. That includes my youngest sister's high school graduation quilt that she has been waiting for an embarrassingly long time to receive. A quilt I started for myself and (future) husband an even longer time ago (considering I have been married a decade this year and had not even met him when I started it well, that is just sad!) I also have the quilt I started for my first son last year. I have a project of a comforter that has not been started but has been promised to my other sister which I will also add to the list. I am sure there are more things I have laying around to be finished and I am determined to finish them! I plan to use all of the crafting moxie I have to stay dedicated to this commitment. So, dear readers (if you really are out there) please keep me accountable. I will post photo proof to the blog as each project gets finished.
Did any of you make any new declarations this year?

The joys of pregnancy and true blessings

I am pregnant and, as if I do not already vent to anyone in earshot, I feel the need to vent it here on my blog, as well. I am thinking maybe if I vent here I will stop complaining so much to people who actually have to listen. You can stop reading now, if you like but they just have to listen or walk away.*

*this may be worth reading after all as I have had some revelations while writing it.


This is baby boy number 2

I feel somewhat guilty in hating to be pregnant for several reasons. The latest one being a sweet family who has a little 1 lb 12 oz baby boy fighting for his life on a ventilator. I have dear friends who have had miscarriages and suffer from other fertility issues. All of these are awful, there is no doubt. In fact, if I were not carrying this child to term I would feel even more awful than I do physically. I know that for certain. So, why do these things not sink into my brain when I am complaining about what realistically, is just a lot of discomfort?

I am a selfish person who has not lived with enough discomfort in life to understand what it truly is. Realize when I say this, my life has not been perfect. In fact, I dealt with a great deal of garbage in my late teens and early twenties as well as a few other things in life. But, I have a wonderful, loving and supportive family and always have had. I made a lot of stupid decisions that led to a lot of the garbage and yet through it all I still have experienced the grace and mercy of my Saviour, Jesus Christ. And a lot of other good has come from the dark places.

BUT, I do not know what it is like to be starving for days at a time or to live in a place with a dirt floor and thatch roof. I have NO idea what it feels like to hear gunfire and bombs going off in my city on a regular basis or to fear that the local police force may come into my house, kidnap my husband, hurt my children and rape me. I do not know what it is like not to have the freedom to worship my God in a public place for anyone to see for fear of being put in prison and tortured or killed. I do not know the reality of living in a country where the church you happen to be affiliated with is the one that people throw bombs into.

So, I have a child, who happens to be a blessing, stretching out his little self inside me where there is no longer room to do that. So, he feels the need to be a Kung Fu fighter in there at 2 am. I have not had a good nights sleep in a few weeks. I have heartburn almost 24/7 with no relief. My hips hurt, my back hurts, my belly hurts, and a lot of the time my behind hurts. I feel simultaneously hungry and full most of the time. In the big picture while I have a hard time seeing the "joys of pregnancy" I can not wait for the end result and as I reflect on true suffering I know I need to suck it up and realize that I have never, at this point in my life, experienced what true suffering is. And for that I am MORE than thankful. And for the blessing that this little man is and will be in my life and, I hope, the lives of others I can do nothing less than thank God for allowing me the privilege of being his and his big brother's mommy.

Big brother

Isn't he just the sweetest little thing?!

One of those trimesters. . .

I am feeling frustrated by mommyhood. Yeah, I admitted it. I am currently hugely pregnant with heartburn almost all day long, pain in my knees, my back and my sciatic nerve on both sides (and those are only the "regular" pains). And I have a child who now wants to end every day with a fit. I am fairly certain a lot of his fit throwing has to do with the baby that is coming. I am sure he has figured out that he is not going to get mommy's full, undivided attention any more but I would rather he get it out in the middle of the day or the morning. By the end of the day I feel so horrible I have a hard time enjoying our quiet, reading, getting ready for bed time but I do it. He is usually so very pleasant up until the time I actually leave the room and then it all begins. I was responding the first few nights and now I do not. As a result the fits have become shorter but still have not disappeared. Am I asking too much for it to just stop? I want our end of day to be pleasant and wonderful like it always has been before. I know he is probably thinking, I know this is going to change when baby comes.
Life is changing and since I hate being pregnant I can not wait until the day this child comes into the world but life will change. I know this child is and will be a blessing as my older one is but change is still change and we are all going to have to learn to adjust to this and adapt and make it all work. Have I mentioned I have friends with four, six, seven kids? What were THEY thinking?!



I am sure they were thinking what a joy and blessing from the Lord that children are. And I agree wholeheartedly but for the moment I am just going to have to remind myself of that every five seconds. And when I finally meet this new little one and I see his brother be a GREAT big brother I will be reminded why we do this. And on other days I will just have to remind myself a little bit more.



Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19.14 NASB

At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children." Matthew 11.25 NIV

Isaac pleaded with the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was unable to have children. The Lord answered Isaac’s prayer, and Rebekah became pregnant with twins.
Genesis 25.21 NLT

So it came to pass in the process of time that Hannah conceived and bore a son, and called his name Samuel, saying, “Because I have asked for him from the LORD.”
1 Samuel 1.20 NKJV

Thankful for Mount Washmore

I often wonder how you know how much clothing is too much for a family of three. Recently I think I discovered the answer. If one does laundry all day long and can separate loads by COLOR I think that means we have too much. Please understand me when I say color, NOT COLORS, COLOR. Not only can I separate by color, in a few instances it includes hues. I have entire loads of laundry in light blues, medium blues and dark blues. Black is popular as I can actually do two loads and light grey is a separate color with it's very own load from dark grey. I think we have a problem.
I have friends who have four, six and seven children who may not have the amount of clothing we have. On the one hand, I do come by it honestly but on the other it is a bit shameful. Not having a working washer and dryer at the moment is making me thankful for the piles of clothing we have. It has also shown me it is time to cut down a bit once the washer and dryer are fixed. Salvation Army, here we come!
I have discovered as long as we have enough underwear we will be just fine!

Some random thoughts on life

There are so many subjects that have been taboo for churches or Christians to discuss in the past and I believe the result of that has been confusion and apathy instead of further study. I am so glad that is changing.

Guess what, God created sex! He knows we FAIL CONSTANTLY! He does not care if we have TATTOOS on our body (although if one is a christian and gets one that could allow someone to question their faith they may at least want to think long and hard. . .but I digress) or make-up on our face! It is okay to wear shorts, sleeveless shirts and bathing suits! First and foremost, HE ALLOWS US TO MAKE OUR OWN CHOICES SO WHEN WE SCREW UP WE RUN BACK TO HIM! I truly believe that a lot of other things could be included in this particular rant, I am sure you can think some up yourself. It is an absolute truth that 'we are not to conform to this world, we are to transform by the renewing of our minds' but does that include alienating people of the world so that they see christianity as a set of rules and hypocrisy that they have no interest in? I say NO!

One of my favorite U2 songs, Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own, brought me to tears the first time I heard it and it still does now. It seriously affects me every time. I hope my son realizes he always has me to lean on.

Of course, there is a bigger picture. We can not ever make it on our own. We can attempt to rely on ourselves and we will fail, in some way. Maybe financially we will fail, maybe not. Maybe emotionally we will fail; somehow, somewhere, we all fail at something. It is a great comfort to know that Christ will pick us up from wherever we fail and blow a breath of fresh air softly over us and prod us to keep going. The creator of the universe is our great Encourager.

Chew on that for a bit and thank Him for His blessings. You can't ever make it on your own. No 'sometimes' about it!

My church in AZ read the Bible together cover to cover over 2 years. It changed my life as well as the life of other folks in all stages of their lives. God gave us His word to gain knowledge of Him. He speaks to us in this way and we need to listen to Him. So often we take an idea from a sermon or Sunday school and decide it is truth without bothering to gain this knowledge. When I taught Sunday school I always stressed my fallibility. I wanted those high school kids to challenge what I was saying by reading and studying His word! I believe with my whole heart that Christ reveals more of His truth to us the more we engage with Him. That is the only way to begin to understand these conversations and help others to also gain the knowledge of Christ. His words are infallible and they are the only words that exist that are. We must talk with His words on our lips and in our hearts and to do so we must know Him!

This is the true "love" chapter in my own humble opinion.

Deliverance from Bondage
1Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.
3For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh,
4so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
5For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.
6For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace,
7because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so,
8and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
9However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him.
10If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness.
11But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.
12So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh--
13for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
14For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.
15For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!"
16The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God,
17and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.
18For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
19For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God.
20For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope
21that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God.
22For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now.
23And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body.
24For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees?
25But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.
Our Victory in Christ
26In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;
27and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
28And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
29For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;
30and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.
31What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?
32He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?
33Who will bring a charge against God's elect? God is the one who justifies;
34who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us.
35Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
36Just as it is written,
"For Your sake we are being put to death all day long;
we were considered as sheep to be slaughtered."
37But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.
38For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,
39nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8 (NASB)