15 November 2011

One of those trimesters. . .

I am feeling frustrated by mommyhood. Yeah, I admitted it. I am currently hugely pregnant with heartburn almost all day long, pain in my knees, my back and my sciatic nerve on both sides (and those are only the "regular" pains). And I have a child who now wants to end every day with a fit. I am fairly certain a lot of his fit throwing has to do with the baby that is coming. I am sure he has figured out that he is not going to get mommy's full, undivided attention any more but I would rather he get it out in the middle of the day or the morning. By the end of the day I feel so horrible I have a hard time enjoying our quiet, reading, getting ready for bed time but I do it. He is usually so very pleasant up until the time I actually leave the room and then it all begins. I was responding the first few nights and now I do not. As a result the fits have become shorter but still have not disappeared. Am I asking too much for it to just stop? I want our end of day to be pleasant and wonderful like it always has been before. I know he is probably thinking, I know this is going to change when baby comes.
Life is changing and since I hate being pregnant I can not wait until the day this child comes into the world but life will change. I know this child is and will be a blessing as my older one is but change is still change and we are all going to have to learn to adjust to this and adapt and make it all work. Have I mentioned I have friends with four, six, seven kids? What were THEY thinking?!

I am sure they were thinking what a joy and blessing from the Lord that children are. And I agree wholeheartedly but for the moment I am just going to have to remind myself of that every five seconds. And when I finally meet this new little one and I see his brother be a GREAT big brother I will be reminded why we do this. And on other days I will just have to remind myself a little bit more.

Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19.14 NASB

At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children." Matthew 11.25 NIV

Isaac pleaded with the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was unable to have children. The Lord answered Isaac’s prayer, and Rebekah became pregnant with twins.
Genesis 25.21 NLT

So it came to pass in the process of time that Hannah conceived and bore a son, and called his name Samuel, saying, “Because I have asked for him from the LORD.”
1 Samuel 1.20 NKJV

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