Declaration, Dedication, Intent, Moxie, Perseverence, Purpose, Tenacity

Not being one for New Years resolutions I decided to make some commitments this year (read New Years resolutions). I looked up the word resolution on Thesaurus.com and found many interesting synonyms.
Here is the entry:

Resolution
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: determination, strong will
Synonyms: aim, boldness, constancy, courage, dauntlessness, decidedness, decision, declaration, dedication, doggedness, earnestness, energy, firmness, fixed purpose, fortitude, guts*, heart*, immovability, intent, intention, judgment, mettle, moxie*, obstinacy, perseverance, pluck, purpose, purposefulness, purposiveness, relentlessness, resoluteness, resolve, settlement, sincerity, spirit, spunk, staunchness, staying power, steadfastness, stubbornness, tenacity, verdict, willpower

Just read some of those words and roll them around in your head for a bit. I used my very favorites for the name of this post.


Part of the reason I wanted to blog about this is I would like to be kept accountable for my declaration. I know that bringing a new baby into the house could be used as a fairly legitimate excuse for not sticking with my commitments but I am going to persevere!
My intent this year is to finish all of the craft projects I have ever started and never finished. That includes my youngest sister's high school graduation quilt that she has been waiting for an embarrassingly long time to receive. A quilt I started for myself and (future) husband an even longer time ago (considering I have been married a decade this year and had not even met him when I started it well, that is just sad!) I also have the quilt I started for my first son last year. I have a project of a comforter that has not been started but has been promised to my other sister which I will also add to the list. I am sure there are more things I have laying around to be finished and I am determined to finish them! I plan to use all of the crafting moxie I have to stay dedicated to this commitment. So, dear readers (if you really are out there) please keep me accountable. I will post photo proof to the blog as each project gets finished.
Did any of you make any new declarations this year?

The joys of pregnancy and true blessings

I am pregnant and, as if I do not already vent to anyone in earshot, I feel the need to vent it here on my blog, as well. I am thinking maybe if I vent here I will stop complaining so much to people who actually have to listen. You can stop reading now, if you like but they just have to listen or walk away.*

*this may be worth reading after all as I have had some revelations while writing it.


This is baby boy number 2

I feel somewhat guilty in hating to be pregnant for several reasons. The latest one being a sweet family who has a little 1 lb 12 oz baby boy fighting for his life on a ventilator. I have dear friends who have had miscarriages and suffer from other fertility issues. All of these are awful, there is no doubt. In fact, if I were not carrying this child to term I would feel even more awful than I do physically. I know that for certain. So, why do these things not sink into my brain when I am complaining about what realistically, is just a lot of discomfort?

I am a selfish person who has not lived with enough discomfort in life to understand what it truly is. Realize when I say this, my life has not been perfect. In fact, I dealt with a great deal of garbage in my late teens and early twenties as well as a few other things in life. But, I have a wonderful, loving and supportive family and always have had. I made a lot of stupid decisions that led to a lot of the garbage and yet through it all I still have experienced the grace and mercy of my Saviour, Jesus Christ. And a lot of other good has come from the dark places.

BUT, I do not know what it is like to be starving for days at a time or to live in a place with a dirt floor and thatch roof. I have NO idea what it feels like to hear gunfire and bombs going off in my city on a regular basis or to fear that the local police force may come into my house, kidnap my husband, hurt my children and rape me. I do not know what it is like not to have the freedom to worship my God in a public place for anyone to see for fear of being put in prison and tortured or killed. I do not know the reality of living in a country where the church you happen to be affiliated with is the one that people throw bombs into.

So, I have a child, who happens to be a blessing, stretching out his little self inside me where there is no longer room to do that. So, he feels the need to be a Kung Fu fighter in there at 2 am. I have not had a good nights sleep in a few weeks. I have heartburn almost 24/7 with no relief. My hips hurt, my back hurts, my belly hurts, and a lot of the time my behind hurts. I feel simultaneously hungry and full most of the time. In the big picture while I have a hard time seeing the "joys of pregnancy" I can not wait for the end result and as I reflect on true suffering I know I need to suck it up and realize that I have never, at this point in my life, experienced what true suffering is. And for that I am MORE than thankful. And for the blessing that this little man is and will be in my life and, I hope, the lives of others I can do nothing less than thank God for allowing me the privilege of being his and his big brother's mommy.

Big brother

Isn't he just the sweetest little thing?!